June 10, 2016

Q:How do you keep your cool when your children fight? Mom of one and I don’t know if I’ll ever have enough patience for the fighting. lol.

A:  There are days when I yell at them, and when I have those bad days where I feel like the worst mother in the world, it honestly helps me have more patience the next day and the day after that, etc. I keep having to tell myself over and over and over that they don’t understand emotions, or how to share. They are 1 and 2.  Don’t get me wrong there are days Im constantly pulling them apart from one another, Orla gets time outs, or have to go to her room until she’s able to calm down from her tantrums. I usually let them go at it, as long as they are not hurting one another. Theres really not much I can do about it in this moment in time given their ages. Its not easy, I have a lot of help, it truly takes a village to raise kids.  I also think my personality in general is easy going, so I find myself to be a patient person just in general.  I hope they will one day be close.

Q: Whats been the hardest part about co-parenting?

A: Ughh where do I start? I think the hardest part for me is having to co-parent without having to sound like a not nice person, is having to watch my daughter struggle with transistiong back into our house when she comes back from her dads. My co-parenting  relationship has recently changed, its an unfortunate situation, which leads me to this tough part of co-parenting. It doesn’t matter how close you are with the other parent, if you allow someone to take advantage of your kindness bc your entire stance from the moment your kid was born was “WHAT IS BEST FOR MY CHILD: stance, shit can still get ugly. I choose not to go into any detail or elaborate on my personal business, but the truth is co-parenting is hard all around, from all aspects. I am struggling with A LOT of things right now with co-parenting when I shouldn’t have too, but the reality is I can go to sleep at night knowing I am honest to myself, and my child. You just gotta keep a smile on your face, and take the shit sometimes. Its not fair to the kids that have parents that make everything about “themselves”. The moment you have a kid its not about YOU anymore and that goes for all parents.

Q: How do you maintain spice in your marriage with children?

A: Wellp. I don’t know If I’d call it spice. BUT.  Nick and I make it a point to make time for each other, some months are better than others. We really try and have a date night every week, even if its something quick. We go out of town with NO kids at least 2 times a year. We stay up late sometimes. We talk about it. I think when you have a deep connection and attraction to your husband or wife the spice seems easy to maintain a balance. But like I said some Months are better than others depending on my mood, my husbands mood, work schedule, the kids lots of distractions in our lives.

Q: I’ve always appreciated how you take time to answer people’s questions without knowing them… You said something to be a while back about being a single mom, telling me to hold on and it gets better… Now that I’m 32 and have a 6yr ( I dated a guy for a long time and he left) I feel like finding the one the ship has sailed. I don’t go to bars, all my friends have zero friends to set me up with. So my dual question is what’s the best advice for a dating mama? & how did you find your husband?

A: God dating is scary out there. The thought of it makes me cringe. But I honestly wasn’t looking for a man when nick came into my life. It’s that typical clichè saying “if you don’t look for it, it will come”. But I think social media is an easy place to browse what’s on the market, you can follow from afar and get a small sense of a person, and their life. My husband found me on Instagram, how? He can’t tell me “how” he found me on there other than we do share a few of the same mutual friends….I’ve never actively used any dating sites so I’m clueless on the success of finding someone on there. I do have friends that meet people all the time off them though. I think my best advice as a dating mama is to make sure all at home is great, your kids are happy, your happy… I feel like having your needs met as a woman sexually is far more easy to fill then to find your soul mate and life companion, but you just never know! I say live it up, have fun and hope that you meet an amazing guy! I still stand by it gets better in time…. There’s always bumps in the road. That’s just life. You gotta look at it from the reality that it is, this guy left so another can come into your life.

Q: What inspires you to be absolutely awesome and workout at  the same time?

A: To be honest my inspiration to be an awesome mom is the fact I missed out on having that for myself growing up. My mom left when I was 10. I have limited memories of her when my parents were married. I want my kids to know someday that I was present, and made it a point to be involved in their lives. I see people that take their kids and families for granted and thats all you have in the end of the day. Its very important to me, and DONT GET ME WRONG there are plenty of days I’m not awesome at all! LOL!!! As far as working out goes, I go in and out of being really driven and motivated to not so driven and motivated. Ive always been a small person, never been overweight. After my last pregnancy I didnt care to stay in shape. I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy, and am paying for that now. I want to be in decent shape for myself and my own happiness with my body. I want to live a long life.

Q: How did you come up with your babies names?

A:  Ok so my kids names…. When I was pregnant with Pella I did not find out the sex so I went into the hospital with a list of names. When she was born and was a Girl, I didnt know what I was going to name her at that moment. she went a day with no name, I kept revisiting my names looking for one that stood out to me and fit her. Pella was on my list, It means “Rock” is Greek AND “Marvel of God” in Hebrew. For me at that time she was my Rock. She also looked like a Pella. How I found the name Pella, was I really liked this band called Pela, so that was the inspiration behind that. Her middle name is James, which has zero relevance other than I liked the name along side of Pella. When Orla was born, same thing as Pella, we didnt name her in utero, she also went nameless for sometime after she was born. Nick and I both really liked Cecelia (Cici) Bc its a family name for me. Orla did not look like a Cecelia, so we back to our list and talked about Orla. Orla an Irish name means “Golden Princess” it was fitting, had a strong meaning, and she looked like an Orla. Her middle name is Grace which is Nicks Grandmothers name. The inspiration of Orla comes from the UK designer Orla Kiely. I just loved the name. Nicholas, wasn’t as lucky with some well thought out unique name, but Nick and I were okay with that. We knew one day Nicholas will be a “man” so we wanted him to have a masculine name he can carry into his adult life and not be embarrassed or weirded out by his name. His middle is Friedrich which is my maiden name.

Q:  Any advice for someone who doesn’t know what she’s doing with her life yet?

A: I unfortunately do not have any solid life changing advice for you in regards to what you should do with your life, other than whatever it is you do decide to do, work hard at it. The hope is that someday your hard work will pay off. Set realistic goals for yourself. Read. Travel. Network.

Q: If you could go back to school what would you study/do?

A: Honestly I have NO clue. I have graphic design, I love visual design & merchandising. I also have a passion for food, I’d love to have a culinary education too, maybe food design…hmm?




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